Lady Sydney

I loved it. ^_^ This was my favorite line: I smile when the red wings of a phoenix pierce through the suffocating vaccuum of the night. That was fantastic description ...

This is an interesting idea, though I think it needs a better rhythm. You have some lines longer than others, so it kind of threw me off. Other than that, ...

Er... I don't know about this. It doesn't seem to poetic to me, and it left no impact. It's like one of those "Do's and Don'ts of Life" kind of ...

All bases have pretty much been touched, so I won't echo. ^_^ I loved this from your first word to your last period. Extremely well done! I'm not really sure ...

I did something like this before for some class that my friend goes to; I just so happen to be going there WITH her the day that they wrote these. ...

Hmm... This was good, but I think it could be better. What your piece lacks the most of is a set rhythm (or maybe I just can't find it. lol) ...

This was actually pretty good! I liked it. :D Lol. Personally, I think it sounds like it could be a song. I'm not sure why, but it just does. I ...

I’m not sure why we’re f riends anymore . It doesn’t seem like you really care . I’ve just become one more of your chores . You and the fags ...

I liked it a lot, but it seems like it could be better. Some lines could express your, or whoever the poem is referring to, feelings a lot better with ...

Nicely done, but as Cade said, you could work on "Wow"ing us. ^_^ I'm pretty sure we all know what a cloud is, but in your own eyes, do you ...

I won't repeat what you already know, which is what everyone above has already mentioned, so I will just say... keep trying. And it is also preferred that your posts/replies ...

Ooh. Quite moving! ^_^ I really enjoyed this. I didn't see anything that you needed to fix. I'm just a reader with her own nitpickyness (if that's a word) and ...

Eep! :shock: That's a bit overwhelming! You need to space your paragraphs, or else it makes your piece look sloppy and it turns off your readers. Space them out, and ...

That's really sweet for the guy, but your other readers would get rather bored. Where's your description? We want to feel the same passion that you do, but you've got ...

Seems more like this should be in a letter to said friend, rather than in the Poetry forum. :wink: You're telling us about your friend and explaining that she complains. ...